Coming Out Poly

This post was meant to be made a while ago, but the site didn't let me the day I wanted to, and I forgot about it until today. Sorry for that.

Recently Nyla and I attended minx's seminar in Madison. We learned a lot and had a number of good discussions. I think kitchenkarma summed it up pretty well on the boards, so I won't really get too much more into it. I'll give a few thoughts on my own experience of it, though.

I walked away with a good sense of community and a desire to increase the exposure and community here in Milwaukee. With that in mind, Nyla, Elle, and I went to the local Meetup group's dinner here in town and met three very nice polys. I think one thing that still gets me is a sense of disconnect between generations, though. My family is all under 30. Most of the polys we've met, are all over 40. While I certainly appreciate the experience and wisdom they can bestow upon us (and they certainly gave us a lot), it's hard at times to find other common ground. I think having a community is good, but I think the three of us would really enjoy polys our own age or close by because these are people we can connect with on a more intimate level - friends or otherwise.

So I'll be working with the woman who runs that Meetup to try and set up some local seminars or discussion groups to talk about all sorts of things related to poly. I think everyone has a different experience with the lifestyle, and I think everyone can learn from one another. That is what building a community is all about. That is what
creating your own network of like-minded individuals is designed to do.

What baffles me is the sense of some people to misappropriate the community for their own selfish purposes. I've been trying to connect with people from all over the place who identify as poly. I am a member of the Milwaukee poly board, the Kenosha/Racine board, the MAPS board, and the LovingMore board. I try to stick to Wisconsin because these are people
who I can potentially meet face-to-face, which I really enjoy. However, I do like talking to people online, and I do my best to connect with as many people as possible.

When you brush me off and tell me that you have no time for me because I'm a man, though, there's a problem. I messaged someone (not knowing their gender), and I was informed that she had no time for men because "she was too busy chatting with the woman she loved." Fine. I explained that I wasn't looking for any sort of relationship connection; I was just looking to chat with other polys. She then replied that she was only on the board to find bisexual girls who want to sleep with her and her girlfriend.

Excuse me? The poly boards are not your personal dating service. That really ticks me off that there are people who are brazen and rude enough to come into our community thinking that we're all open and available to just sleep around whenever we want. Granted, some of us are, but the vast majority of those on these boards are there to have that sense of community. If you want to find said HBB's, then you need to post on craigslist.

Thanks to everyone for their support, and we really have enjoyed the last couple weeks expanding our circle of friends and getting to know some of the poly folk here in the area.