nyla's blog

I grew up in a family where fighting, yelling, and crying were so common that I didn't know other people lived another way. My dad has a problem with being verbally abusive and my mom was either utterly disconnected from our world or throwing things. This has made me pretty terrified of confrontation - people speak to me sternly and I break down. That being said, having issues with Killian and Elle or anyone else in our relationship is the last thing I want to go through. I want us to live as a happy, emotionally healthy unit.

This weekend, Killian, Elle, and I spent a lot more time than usual together. You see, our general arrangement is both Elle and I get 2 of what we call "date days". The three of us share a calendar and we plan our date days around work, school, and other social activities. Generally we each get a night during the week and then another on the weekend.

I think the past couple weeks have been good to reflect for me. I've been stressing out a lot and worrying even more, but something has finally broken.

I've had some time to spend with both Killian and Elle which has been nice; we hadn't really spent all that much time together before outside of a dinner every now and again. Being around them when they are "together" was really hard for me before. I felt a lot like the third wheel and that I didn't really need to be there. I don't know how or when things tilted, but it seems much more comfortable now.

I dated Tristan and Isolde for quite a while. It started off as Tristan and I being friends. I met Tristan through Last.fm, oddly enough. We chatted about music tastes and noted how close to one another we lived - we probably chatted for 6 or 8 months before I went to a conference up in Madison and noticed his screen name in an IRC chat for the event and we spent the whole weekend hanging out.

I stumbled across this preview of a tv show called "Polly and Marie" tonight about a polyamorous couple. I was excited upon hearing about it because anyway we can get the word out there in a positive way is excellent.

After watching it, though, I fear that the creators of this show may have confused polyamory for swinging (see: what seems to be a giant orgy in the video), which might spread more disinformation about polyamory in general.