Here's a link to my newest article, hope you guys like it, and if you can (*please pretty please with a cherry on top!*) pass the link on to others, the more hits I get the better ^_^

http://www.altdash.com/ShowArticle.aspx?ID=157

I want to forward this post with a disclaimer: I do NOT, have never, nor ever will watch ABC's "The Bachelor." Just needed to make things clear. My roommates, on the other hand, do watch this "show"- if you could call it that. I call it a plague, a soap opera, a drug used by single white women and housewives across the nation. I do not watch this show, but I have deduced how it works. Single dude, and in this case apparently a single dad, meets some number of single women (I'm thinking like 20), they all live in this crazy big mansion, and each week he has to choose the ones he wants to keep macking on and send the rest packing. He does this (I know from the commercials) by giving the girls he wants to stay roses (oh how cute, cue the "awws" from old ladies who still give a shit about flowers). We all pretty much know how it goes.

"Okay, Elle," you're asking, "what does this have to do with anything, much less polyamory?"

Well skeptical reader, does no one else but me detect a bit of a poly vibe here? Or maybe an anti-poly vibe? These women all live together, some of them even claim to be friends, yet they're all vying for the same guy's attention and more than a few have already declared their undying love for the man. He says -right into the camera with those big puppy dog eyes of his and that perfect lighting (of course)- that he doesn't know which girl he'll choose because he's gotten so close to all of them. And this is for marriage, mind you. I'm pretty sure he may have even dropped the big old "L." word a couple times himself (that's "love" not "lesbian" for those of you that may be Showtime fans :P). So... if you love 2 or more women... and they both love you back... and they're already cool with living together in a big mansion until happily ever after... then what's the problem?

He could potentially A) remain a hot bachelor, B) get 2 hot chicks that he loves and that love him back, C) get whatever prize money that invariably goes hand in hand with this sham marriage/contest and D) not hurt anyone's feelings at all (except those like 18 other girls :P)-- and well, if they're into it, that is :}.

I keep seeing the commercials and just wishing that people ever considered polyamory as an option. For most people it doesn't even cross their minds, and especially not in the beginning of a relationship. It's usually years down the road when they decide to pop the big question: "How would you like to see other people... together?" or something along those lines. But it doesn't ever start that way, does it? I mean when someone tells a new date, let's say a guy (because women would only be labeled sluts anyway), "Well, I really like you, but I really like her too..." it's usually coupled with an ultimatum: "It's either her or me," or unfortunate disgust/hurt, "Fine, if I'm not enough for you, go be with someone else, you whore."

BUT, if shows like "The Bachelor" are good for anything, they do show that it's possible for a human to be in love with more than one other person at a time and for more than one person to be in love with them. They ruin it by making him choose every week who he wants to ditch for someone better, but maybe it's progress... maybe?

Personally, I can't wait for the day when a reality show would embrace the poly-outlook for a dating show, and not make it trashy and full of sluttery. I'm not talking "Flavor of Love" here, I mean something respectable. Can you have "reality tv" and "respectable" in the same sentence? Perhaps one day. A girl can dream.

I came home today to a magazine that my roommates and I don't subscribe to. It goes to some Todd guy that used to live her 2 years ago. For some reason it keeps coming. It's called COMPLEX magazine, and whenever we get it, we'll page through it without thinking. Really almost the entire thing is advertisements, but it smells kind of good.

Anyway, today I come home to it, glance over, and what does it say on the front cover? "HOW TO CHEAT ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND (& GET AWAY WITH IT)

Excuse me? What the fuck?

You can access the full article here: http://www.complex.com/ENTERTAINMENT/FEATURES/The-Complex-Guide-to-Cheating for I do not suggest actually buying the rag of a mag. But for a brief summation, this article is a how-to guide on cheating - and getting not getting caught. It lists off, in a step-by-step manner, 1) who you should sleep with (ie. the ex, a younger girl, some random chick), 2)the risks involved, 3) how to "do the deed", 4) the aftermath, 5) Loopholes (may favorite: "It's NOT cheating if 90% of your clothes stay on"), and 6) conflict resolution (what to do if even after following this brilliant guide, your dumb ass still gets caught).

I can only hope this is satire. Reading it aloud to my roommate we agreed that it just *had* to be, but if not, all I have to say is, "Are you for serious COMPLEX? Really?"

I recently posted a Craigslist ad asking for a pen pal. I was incredibly bored and had just gotten an email from one of my other pen pals stating that he would be moving to Kentucky and probably wouldn't have much time to write anymore. It was understandable, but I guess I was still kind of hurt. I love writing and emails are really one of my only outlets for that part of my life anymore. So I posted this ad and got dozens and dozens of responses. Most of whom obviously didn't read the ad itself because, FYI, I was not asking for a date, I was asking for a writing buddy. Apparently that was not evident when I said "pen pal" and not "fuck buddy" or "future husband"...

ANYWAY, there were a few guys that answered that seemed genuinely nice and non-retarded. The emails I actually respond to have dwindled down to about 3 in the past few weeks (from about 20 :S), and one stood out as a pretty nice dude, someone I was even willing to go out to coffee with, and told such to said guy. Then I told him about my relationship. When he asked me if I was seeing anyone I told him I was in an open relationship. Later I added that it was to a married man. He then went forth to put him down and tell me he had no right to get married to his wife, that I basically shouldn't be with him, and that he "hesitates to call it a relationship" because I "just happen to be fucking a guy that just happens to be married." **

Needless to say I stopped texting him right quick. Oh, and that coffee date was as good as dead the moment he told me I that I'm "obligated" to have kids with someone else (I'm guessing he meant with himself) because I'm an intelligent person and smart people need to breed more...

Where do people get off thinking they can tell other people what to do with their lives? >.< Grr, I just needed to vent. Ok, I feel a bit better now.

~Elle

**Killian and I are celebrating out one year anniversary in 2 days. I consider a one year long relationship pretty solid, don't you? PS) Yay, us! ^_^

Yesterday I attended a workshop on sustaining an open relationships and took a lot of notes. It was an amazing experience, and I wish Killian and Nyla could have been there too. I'll try my best to surmise the most of it.