"Oh, we got trouble...right here in River City" (1)

I like happy people. I especially like when I can make people happy. And it hurts - more than anyone can imagine - when I do something to make them unhappy. Or even when I seem not to be doing something. This is a bit of a touchy subject, I suppose, but a few things need to be said about it.

I have always been the type of person to put other people first. Sometimes, I have too many people to look after, and someone gets a little less attention. In this instance, it was Nyla. It has never been intentional, and it certainly was hurtful to hear that I'd done it - not because I felt like I hadn't but because I was made to feel like I'd forgotten. I don't forget.

I love Nyla, and I love Elle. They're both very special to me, and I cried the other day over the fact that I'd gone so far as to make one seem more important than the other. The last time I cried . . . well, I honestly don't remember. It takes a lot for me to let that sort of build-up of emotion come out. But it was good. In a long moment of letting it all out, I realized that there has obviously been a lot of stress in my life, and I've been holding it in. As is typically the case, I've been pushing aside all of my own stress to concentrate on other people.

To everyone out there: I'm sorry. I know that sometimes I see like I'm being absent with things, but believe me when I say that I am always here, and I am always thinking about you. Few are the people who do not cross my mind at some point during the day, and many are the people who are loved.

It's a rough patch, and it will be fixed and made whole again. And I'm sorry.

1. Yes, that's a reference to "The Music Man". No, I did not sing that on a regular basis throughout middle school