Preparations begin
Tomorrow is December 1st, 2007. It makes me nervous because it came too fast. I've been preparing myself for some time, but I still think there will still be a great deal of anxiety about the whole day. In case you're not aware, it's my company's Christmas party, and Elle is coming with me - not Nyla. It's going to be an odd sort of 'coming out'.
One of my co-workers (and a good friend) will be coming with his wife. They both know about my and Nyla's lifestyle, and they're ok with it. Though sometimes I wonder if it's acceptance or resignation. Who knows? They never speak ill of it, which is the important thing. Even more important, too, is the fact that they'll be there to bail me out - or at least support me if things go a bit awry. I'm still nervous. I think Elle is a bit, too.
It's tough, though, because I know a lot of people will question why my wife isn't with me. So just tell them Elle is your friend, you say. I suppose, but that's not only insulting to Elle and my relationship with her, it's cowardice, and I can't abide by that. So my hope is that I can lie a little when I need to and only tell a portion of the people the truth. Here is how I vision a possible conversation in which I tell them such.
Co-worker: Hey, "Killian"
Me: Hi.
Co-worker: This is my wife, so-and-so
Me: This is my girlfriend, "Elle"
End of conversation. Yes, I'll be wearing my ring; yes, they may notice; but I don't have to really relate the entire truth to them unless they ask. The conversation I dread is this one:
Co-worker: Hi, "Killian". Is this your wife?
Me: No, this is my girlfriend, "Elle"
Co-worker: Oh. I see.
And then they proceed to walk away and think less of me simply because I've chosen a lifestyle they don't understand. It's that fear - perhaps even disdain - for the reaction of disapproval or rejection that I know I'll encounter when I tell people that makes me most anxious. It's also a bit of anger for their close-mindedness. I suppose we'll see when the time comes; and I'm certain to post about it.
So until then . . . to be continued . . .
