Look both ways before you cross the street
We grow up hearing from our parents and grandparents (or other guardians) things like, "look both ways before you cross the street", "wear your helmet when you ride your bike", "don't talk to strangers", "always wash your hands". They're good advice to keep yourself safe - away from various harms and ailments. It's part of that whole paternal/maternal instinct or something.
The one thing you rarely hear - unless you've got a father like mine who was brilliant enough to have more than just the "this is how babies are made" talk - is what is safe when it comes to sex. Schools teach you how to do it, and then they tell you not to do it. American policy is that abstinence is best. Well guess what? Kids still have sex, and they have it unprotected because America turns a blind eye to the fact that they do it.
So that's my rant; here's my point: safe sex is good sex. In a poly relationship, safe sex is essential. Not only are you putting you and your partner at risk by not doing it; you're putting any other partner you have, or your partner has, or your partner's partner has, ad infinitum. It's just not smart. I think this is one area that poly folk can learn from swingers, because they're all about the safe sex. It's just a good practice.
So what are some options?
* Condoms - the old stand-by. Always have some around the house. Don't carry them with you (if you're a guy) because that just seems like you're always looking to score. Keep them nearby in the bedroom, though.
* Birth Control. Some folks are a little uninformed about birth control (including yours truly), but it's a great option. Talk to your doctor, ask some friends, get varied opinions. As a side note, Nyla was on birth control for a bit, and the one she was using lowered her sex drive immensely; so different ones will affect you in different ways.
* ABSTINENCE! No, I'm kidding. I just had to throw that in there.
* No penetration. Say what? Yeah, that's right. Have oral sex, mutual masturbation, use toys. (Well, toys can have penetration, but I mean with a real penis and such). You don't always have to go about "soiling the wild oats", as it were.
So there's some ideas. If anyone has any other ideas, please feel free to post them. I know Cunning Minx and Xenomag both have some other discussions on a similar topic. You should look there at your leisure. Also, for those of you in the Milwaukee/Madison/Chicago kind of area, Cunning Minx will be in Madison on the 23rd of February for a seminar on poly relationships at A Woman's Touch. You should come. I'd love to meet some readers.
