Coming Out Poly

A year or so ago I met a very intelligent physicist from Madison who described what marriage was to him. It put a spin on the topic for me that I'd never really thought of before then. I tend to keep my opinions within the circles of those people who truly understand the roller coaster ride that is a polyamorous relationship; but Lucy and I had a discussion, and I felt it necessary to divulge to her my argument in favor of the allowance of poly marriages in the US (and this argument works with the gay/lesbian movement, too).

Lucy had a problem with the idea that polyamorous relationships should be legalized because she didn't feel it was a natural thing. "It's a philosophy - a life choice," she said, "so it doesn't work like being homosexual. That's something that's just part of you." So is polyamory, in my opinion. Yes, the conscious decision was made to practice this way of life, but I didn't choose to love more than one person - it just happened. It's just part of me. And I think anyone else in such a relationship would feel the same way.

So my argument is this: Marriage in this country - as it is in many "Westernized" countries - is entirely a legal institution. There is absolutely no requirement for any religious affix to be put on a marriage (i.e. - you can go to the courthouse and get married without a priest). Therefore, it's a contract with the State/Union that allows you to be married. Just like with gay marriage, if you say that someone can't sign that contract based on their gender, sexual preference, race, etc., then you're violating their civil rights. Poly works the same way because if you go to any other institution where you sign a contract, you can sign more than one. It's a binding agreement between two parties - that's it. Religion should have no place in an institution that already has no religious requirement.

I'm sure there will be much throwing up of hands and shouting at such a statement, but I can say for certain that there's little one can say against the logic in the argument. Religion aside, marriage is entirely a government institution for tax benefit purposes. As far as all the legal mumbo-jumbo about healthcare and Powers of Attorney and all that - that's for them to decide. This is just my argument in favor of allowing the process to even get off the ground. And like I said, the argument is the same for same-sex marriage. It's a violation of our civil rights based on sexual preference.

End of soap-box rant.