Hello everyone. Sorry for the delay in posting this; it's been a rather hectic month, and the lot of us have been more than a bit distracted with a variety of things. Being that as it is, I am posting this bit of an agenda for those of you who will be attending tomorrow's meeting at The Tool Shed.

We'll be talking about a few things: What is Poly?, What does it mean to be Poly?, and What are the "types" of Poly?. These will be our major topics of discussion, and we'd like to look into proposing the first book to start looking into for the group. Please do bring some ideas.

This past Wednesday we had the first meeting of Coming Out Poly Milwaukee, which is also dubbed the Young Milwaukee Poly Group at the Tool Shed. Ashley (Nyla) and I were afraid that there would be a rather meager turn-out, expecting only those people who we had personally invited to join us for discussion. We were thoroughly excited, however, when 25 people ended up showing to the group. It was beautiful, and we want to thank everyone who came out for doing so.

To me - and I think to Ashley and Lyndzi - it was wonderful to see so many people coming out to support us. The community has gone from a nearly silent minority to a visual group, and it's great. You are all part of our network now, and we welcome you with open arms because everyone within the poly circles needs to have people to connect with, to interact with, and to find comfort in. We hope that this group will be the beginning of a much larger movement here in the city to be able to provide in a way that there has been nothing previously.

With that being said, for all of you who made it out to the group - and for those who may have had other plans (or even had second thoughts) - we welcome you.

So, we're coming out. Well, we've kind of already been "out" but not all that publicly. It's going to be a bit harder now to not be. The Shepherd Express ran another article about us, and we decided as a family to use our real names. Read the full article here.

It's a big step for all of us, I think, and we're excited. The group will be a big voice in the community, and we hope that it will be a great service, too. We want people to be welcome, and we want people to feel comfortable with us. We hope that by "outing" ourselves to people here in Milwaukee we will give other people courage to do the same thing - to their friends, family, co-workers, whoever they're comfortable coming out to. There are others like you, and we're here to help you in whatever way we can.

We haven't posted much personal stuff on here lately, as many of you may have noticed. With the holidays and the added stress from Killian being out of work, we haven't been able to muster the energy to put our thoughts out there.

We have been getting into so many fights about the smallest things lately and it is just stressing us out even more. Most recently, Killian and I got into a fight and Elle came over to help us talk things out and look at things rationally. I can't even begin to explain how nice it is to have someone that knows us both and the situation so well that she can relate to and help us both work through things. I think that is one of my favorite things about being poly. When there is a two person issue, you're not alone with trying to fix things.

Getting advice from non-poly friends and family is difficult because they may not have seen the situation before. Where their quickest thought might be "well, you wouldn't be in that position if you didn't have such a complicated love life" or "I don't know what to tell you, I don't know what it is like to...", a metamour or significant other's is more along the lines of how to fix things.

Elle made a big impact on both of us that day, I think. She was there for me to talk to when I was upset and was there to remove Killian from the situation so he could talk about why he was upset. I texted her when she left a "love you". Not something I have ever said to her before and not something that, truthfully, I was expecting to feel. She's become family faster than I thought she would - especially considering how little time she and I have spent together as of late. It's a strangely comforting feeling, though.

Killian, Elle, and I have spent the past few days doing quite a bit together. We celebrated my birthday last night: Killian made dinner and Elle bought an ice cream cake and we watched a movie together (while knitting, of course!). It was nice to have a quiet relaxing birthday with what I know feel is my family.

I'm looking forward to growing and getting healthier as a family and how we can help other people do the same through things like our monthly Coming Out Poly group at the Tool Shed in Milwaukee, through our blog, and through other ways of outreach.

So I guess we're official. Milwaukee's liberal paper, The Shepherd Express, has mentioned us via their sex columnist on SexPress. I hope this brings about good tidings for the group, the community, and the city. I hope it shows people that we're more open than people believe; I also hope it allows others interested in poly or involved in poly to come forward and be a part of the community.

Recently, Nyla, Elle, and I met with some new, young, poly friends. Betty and Dan (not their real names) were very inquisitive, open-minded, and sweet. We've not really had much experience with the younger poly crowd, as people in our age bracket seem to be insecure about their own position in the world and in the community. Dan said something to us that I think rings true for a lot of those interested in poly or just starting out. "Is this normal? I mean, is what we're doing - what we're going through - normal?" Polyamory, in short, is not normal; or, rather, it's not the accepted norm. However, there are some situations that are normal for a poly relationship. So I replied with "Yes. You're still normal."

I think it's important for those just starting out in a poly relationship to have others to speak with who treat their relationship like it's normal. It makes it easier for people to accept, I think. If you keep it secret, then it seems like you're hiding something or that you're ashamed of it. Nyla, Elle, and I have been very open about things for the past year to most people who are regulars in our life. To them, our relationship is uncommon and unknown, but it's not strange, and they don't look at us with distaste. That, I think, is important. I also believe that having a community like the one we're building, will slowly and steadily bring about more and more knowledge and exposure to polyamory and thus allow people to be more and more accepting of it.

So thanks, Laura, for the kind exposure to us and our way of life. Thank you, more so, for allowing us the use of your space because it means a lot to have people as open-minded and kind to turn to. I think I speak for everyone in the family when I say "Welcome" to everyone who - I hope - will become part of our community.