Coming Out Poly

Nyla and I have always had a solid relationship. It's one of the things most people comment about when they meet us. We interact well; we communicate well; we "fit", as it were. But, like most married couples, we have our issues. Only, we're not like most married couples, so our issues aren't really the typical issues.

What is marriage? Throughout our lives (for most of us) it means a life-long commitment to a person of the opposite sex. It means loving and cherishing that person until one of you dies. My parents were divorced when I was little more than 2; Nyla's parents divorced when she was 8; Elle's parents when she was 12. Only my parents remarried after their divorce. My father has been in a healthy relationship since then - 18 years of marriage. My mother, on the other hand, just divorced her second husband after 18 years. I guess my dad won that competition.

Days like yesterday are very good days. We got nearly 16 inches of snow where we live. Nyla's work closed shop; Elle's school closed shop; so Killian called into work (which had not closed shop). Nyla and I slept in a bit and then headed over to Elle's to spend some time there. It was a good day, despite spending nearly two hours, all total, shoveling snow off sidewalks, out from around cars, and driveways.

The woman from Herriot-Watt sent me some more questions. Here are my answers.

Can I ask do you feel the factors which trigger jealousy in your relationships, have changed over time?

Ok, so I wandered off the reservation a bit . . . no, wrong cliche . . . I had my train a bit derailed by myself :/ So, back to the show already in progress. Oh, and a new rule: let's refrain from politics, religion, et al that doesn't relate to poly. While I am always for a good debate regarding my beliefs and opinions, I think we'll leave those to other fora for now.

So what's on the program schedule now? Something completely different, no doubt.

Over the past few days, Nyla, Elle, and I have been in a round of debates over a particular topic: time. Or, rather, I should say time management. So my resolution - I suppose it's a New Year's one considering the proximity - is to keep a better calendar.

When Nyla and I first started dating other people, the biggest thing I had to deal with - and still do - is sex with other people. I know it sounds hypocritical to say that I am uncomfortable about it, but it's the truth, and it's one of my insecurities. It haunts me to an extent; it's like I can visualize it, and that really bothers me. I'm not sure where it comes from, but I suspects it's from that sense of abandonment I get in situations where I think my relationship is in danger from another man* . . . but I'm no psychologist.

So, I haven't posted in a while. I've had a lot to say, I just knew who was reading this and I didn't really want them to know what was going on with me, or to judge me, or take what I was saying wrong. But now that the cat is out of the bag and I'm free to blog it out.

So, I have a new guy. I'm not calling him my boyfriend, because I don't think I can yet, I just don't know him well enough, but for the sake of this blog lets just call him my guy friend Jay.

A few posts back "Cammy" made a comment about things "going unchecked...like a roller coaster without brakes". I had thought to make a comment in response about said person not knowing what the hell she was talking about - because I didn't know her. However, I've had a very enlightening evening talking with our new friend, Cammy, who I found out is a very old friend of mine.

Lately I've been a bit meh - meaning I haven't really been all that motivated by much of anything. Nyla has been very ill, the issue with Jenna kind of upset me a little (because I still feel like it's my fault), and it's winter, and I always feel blah in winter.