thoughts

A few articles around the poly-blogosphere have raised the question of word usage. Poly in the News has an article that mentions a few terms. Mama Java - the Polyamorous Misanthrope - also has a few things to say about poly and lgbt terms.

Last year, Nyla and I had a woman from LSU call us for an interview regarding non-traditional relationships. We spoke a lot about our newly open marriage, jealousy, intimacy, and a number of other things. It was a good discussion, and I should be getting the transcripts from that interview here in the next few days, which will be nice to read in light of this new bit of information. One of the big issues in a non-traditional, non-monogamous relationship is jealousy.

I couldn't be the tilde in the title, but it's supposed to be there. This article is from a few days ago, but it's very good. It's interesting to see how the rest of the world interprets polyamory, and it's good to know that we're not the only "strange" ones of the bunch.

Read over it; if you know Spanish go over to the yahoo group and join the discussion.

Nyla and I attended a wedding this past weekend, and I have to say that of all the weddings I've been to (and there have been a few), this one offended me the most. "Offended you?" you ask . . . Yes, offended me.

This Sunday I traveled with Elle and her sister (Madison) up to their home town to hang out with them while Elle's car was worked on. More importantly, while there, I met their father. It was a tame meeting that went better than I had planned for. Being that I am 7 years older than Elle - which I'm not sure her father is aware of - I had anticipated drawn-out discussions about what I do for work, what I do on the side, etc. in order to gauge if I was fit enough for his daughter.

Nyla and I went down to Chicago to see her dad's family for Thanksgiving today. It's always an interesting visit with them. The only person who knows about our lifestyle within the group of those that typically show up to the event is her dad. So it makes for a bit of difficulty - at least in my opinion - to talk about anything not related to Nyla and I. As is typical with any family conversation, the obligatory question "how are things with you?" question comes up. Well, there's a lot going on in my life and in Nyla's life (more on that in the next day or so I imagine).

My life is stressful just like everyone else's. And before you start rolling your eyes and thinking "blah, blah, blah, quit your bitching", hear me out:

This past weekend was a good weekend. I spent a lovely evening with Jenna on Friday as a late birthday dinner (she made a lovely meal, and we watched The Usual Suspects, which she'd never seen). Then Saturday was spent with Elle, lunch with Nyla, and then an evening with Nyla. But there was a bit of a miscommunication that brought things to a head and proved one thing: there is some serious need for inter-communication.

So Nyla and I had our interview yesterday evening, and it went very well. The woman that interviewed us was very kind and very open to our way of life. It's nice to meet those kinds of people.

L. E. Modesitt (he's a science fiction author) wrote a blog post not too long ago, that I'd wanted to comment on, but never got around to doing so until now. While the post is on genre fiction and its relationship with the "literary establishment", he makes a good point further on in the post - which is what I was inspired by.

Nyla and I made the conscious decision, when we fully realized that we were poly, to only tell a select group of people. Everyone else could just be left in the dark. My best friend, Steg, was the first, followed closely by Nyla's sister and my brother. For a long time, they were the only ones who knew. They were really the only ones we cared to tell because for us, it was somewhat of a private matter. I knew, though, that I would eventually want to tell my dad, which was going to be very tough.