Coming Out Poly

I recently posted a Craigslist ad asking for a pen pal. I was incredibly bored and had just gotten an email from one of my other pen pals stating that he would be moving to Kentucky and probably wouldn't have much time to write anymore. It was understandable, but I guess I was still kind of hurt. I love writing and emails are really one of my only outlets for that part of my life anymore. So I posted this ad and got dozens and dozens of responses. Most of whom obviously didn't read the ad itself because, FYI, I was not asking for a date, I was asking for a writing buddy. Apparently that was not evident when I said "pen pal" and not "fuck buddy" or "future husband"...

ANYWAY, there were a few guys that answered that seemed genuinely nice and non-retarded. The emails I actually respond to have dwindled down to about 3 in the past few weeks (from about 20 :S), and one stood out as a pretty nice dude, someone I was even willing to go out to coffee with, and told such to said guy. Then I told him about my relationship. When he asked me if I was seeing anyone I told him I was in an open relationship. Later I added that it was to a married man. He then went forth to put him down and tell me he had no right to get married to his wife, that I basically shouldn't be with him, and that he "hesitates to call it a relationship" because I "just happen to be fucking a guy that just happens to be married." **

Needless to say I stopped texting him right quick. Oh, and that coffee date was as good as dead the moment he told me I that I'm "obligated" to have kids with someone else (I'm guessing he meant with himself) because I'm an intelligent person and smart people need to breed more...

Where do people get off thinking they can tell other people what to do with their lives? >.< Grr, I just needed to vent. Ok, I feel a bit better now.

~Elle

**Killian and I are celebrating out one year anniversary in 2 days. I consider a one year long relationship pretty solid, don't you? PS) Yay, us! ^_^

Tristan Taormino has put up a new message board on her new site for her new book. Lots of new things :-) Look into it.

Nyla and I have always had a solid relationship. It's one of the things most people comment about when they meet us. We interact well; we communicate well; we "fit", as it were. But, like most married couples, we have our issues. Only, we're not like most married couples, so our issues aren't really the typical issues.

We're looking to hold a discussion group here in Milwaukee on the 2nd of June. It will be at the Anodyne Coffee shop on the south side of town at 7:00pm. Please bring a few bucks for coffee and a will to discuss. We're looking to change this venue to the local A Woman's Touch store; I just haven't contacted the woman about it yet. Plus it's not free, so that would be an issue.

I have a few topics in mind to talk about at our first meeting (don't worry, no silly ice-breakers). I think it'll be good to truly start building our Milwaukee community. It needs to happen.

Email: dsteiner7@gmail.com

Directions:

From the west (using Waukesha as the starting point):
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From the north (using Mequon as the starting point):
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From the south (using Racine as the starting point):
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Marriage means a lot to me. I've said that before . . . twice. When religion starts to come in (and by 'religion' in this post, I mean over-zealous, close-minded, right-winged, Christian Fundies who think they're better than the depraved world that surrounds them), I get a little hot under the collar. Here's the issue at hand.

What is marriage? Throughout our lives (for most of us) it means a life-long commitment to a person of the opposite sex. It means loving and cherishing that person until one of you dies. My parents were divorced when I was little more than 2; Nyla's parents divorced when she was 8; Elle's parents when she was 12. Only my parents remarried after their divorce. My father has been in a healthy relationship since then - 18 years of marriage. My mother, on the other hand, just divorced her second husband after 18 years. I guess my dad won that competition.

We all went to the SEXPO series at UWM last week. I've been trying to think all week about what to write about regarding it, and it just hasn't come to mind . . . until today. Sexual Empowerment. That's what the talk that Tristan Toarmino gave was about. It was fascinating and informational and rewarding.

Yesterday I attended a workshop on sustaining an open relationships and took a lot of notes. It was an amazing experience, and I wish Killian and Nyla could have been there too. I'll try my best to surmise the most of it.

Nine months ago I met a girl who was innocent, rabidly passionate, intense, and completely unaware of the things that lay within her. Elle has changed dramatically since then. She went from a girl who had never had a boyfriend, to a caring woman and wonderful companion who does so many wonderful things for both me and Nyla.

I grew up in a family where fighting, yelling, and crying were so common that I didn't know other people lived another way. My dad has a problem with being verbally abusive and my mom was either utterly disconnected from our world or throwing things. This has made me pretty terrified of confrontation - people speak to me sternly and I break down. That being said, having issues with Killian and Elle or anyone else in our relationship is the last thing I want to go through. I want us to live as a happy, emotionally healthy unit.